Today we’re reviewing the monstrosity that is To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl.
Check out the archived version of the book here:
http://web.archive.org/web/20101104141241/http://www.achristianhome.com/to_train_up_a_child.htm
Check out these articles about the damage caused by this book:
https://www.babble.com/mom/to-train-up-a-child-teaches-punishment-that-kills-kids/
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/11/hana_williams_the_tragic_death_of_an_ethiopian_adoptee_and_how_it_could.html
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YES ANOTHER FEMALE ATHEIST(?) YOUTUBER FOR ME TO WATCH AT EVERY UPLOAD
also I love books and children
Also who the fuck let this get published
The fuck?
Not to even mention a sensitive child with autism for example where hitting has the absolute opposite effect on their behaviour.
Wow this book is extreme. In most cases physical punishments are inappropriate. But I wouldn’t reject them flatly. Some kids become aggressive and violent against people or animals for no reason. If they are old enough to understand that their violent action is wrong, I don’t see a problem with a spank or two. If you beat someone, you may get beaten. Even if you are 10. That’s how life works.
As a parent and a son this breaks my heart. Punishing a child should never be enjoyed. I hate doing it even when necesarry, but by being consistent and offering motivations to do the right thing it’s thankfully a very rare occasion. If you hit your child you’ve lost. You will lose their trust you and you displayed a complete disability to communicate. Fear is not respect.
This is some of the most disturbing things I’ve ever heard!
I live in a country where beating your child is illegal, as I believe it should be.
And the thing is that these people actually interpret the bible correctly. It IS an insane bronze age religion for primitive people.
This is a book very much steeped in the history of Classical Conditioning Psychology. Watson, one of the pioneers of the techniques associated with it, was quoted as saying he could bring up a child to become anything, from a doctor to a beggar, depending on the stimuli and timing of said stimuli. While some of these techniques can be used for good, especially to keep a child from danger early in their development, they can often be used to get the child to perform to their parents’ whims, which this book appears to have taken to an even more disgusting level. I prefer to set a good example, and have real conversations with kids in a loving and thoughtful manner, setting up appropriate consequences, while also using praise for the good things they do. This is the Watson link: https://www.simplypsychology.org/classical-conditioning.html
As offspring of two emotionally handicapped parents, I’d say this much:
First, if you want obedience, get dogs (or do as they propose and damage your offspring to your liking). If you need to force “obedience”, you’re not worth it, and you probably know yourself.
Second: Use any kind of violence, and you forfeit all your selfproclaimed “rights”.
If you want to see the end result of this book, watch “19 Kids and Counting” and “Counting On”. The Duggars have admitted to using Pearl’s methods, including blanket training and the goofy training “games” to teach children to obey without question. They also covered up their oldest son’s abuse of his very young sisters and have a bunch of “kidults” living at home with nothing to do because they’re too uneducated to get a real job.
If you don’t have kids then you don’t know.
Sorry, it is really that simple.
This couple needs to be in jail. JESUS CHRIST! This family is just a cycle of abuse!!
Jesus, go eat something before you starve to death.
Well? It gave great results when Alois Hitler did it/s.
Her husband legit looks like Santa
Rachel, your way of raising a child is exactly why Millennials are so fucked up and self absorbed. It’s absolutely obvious you have never spent any significant time with a child.
How are they not in prison after publishing this? Okay, freedom of speech, you can write whatever you want, but they literally admitted to abusing their children.
HOLY SHIT. I knew this book was fucking toxic but I had no idea about the “Children crave and need spanking and are happy to receive it!” angle. THAT MAKES IT THAT MUCH WORSE.
Send a copy of this book to the police and child services so the people of this book get in trouble.
this is so stupid. these people are religious, but if you do shit like this to your children, it will *push them away from the church after they grow up.* they will think ALL religious people are like this.
reminds me of this one psychology experiment done where someone placed a rat next to a newborn baby and honked a loud horn to condition the baby to be afraid of rats
SWITCHES? IS THIS THE GOD DAMN 1800s?? spanking is okay if its not meant to cause real pain, my parents never used anything but their hands (and might I add didn’t force me to take off my clothes like child abusers) and it was always just a shock and not something that could *bruise* or even cause me to fucking *bleed*
Slavery was not how we see it today as the Bible. Research.
How would they not be in jail after this was published? It’s blatant abuse.
I mean, this was written by a radical Christian.
I have to wonder if anyone has pursued legal action against these monsters. This book is not only an admission of crimes committed but also a step by step guide on how to commit those crimes yourself. At the very least they ought to be charged with child endangerment.
You can’t find justification for spanking because there isn’t one. Parents who spank want a short-term solution so they do not need to parent. It is much easier to switch your kids than sit them down and speak to them.
Yeah, these people are scary. Just a point on the Garden of Eden bit:
1. God explained exactly what would happen. These people are encouraging the opposite.
2. Adam and Eve were endowed with reason, by God, that was far and beyond what we are able to obtain even with 100 years of experience. Their mental faculties were not clouded by the Fall at that point as ours are now. They knew exactly what they were doing. An infant does not.
As to breastfeeding, you train them to stop biting by taking away the breast and saying “no”. They learn without being hurt.
Ephesians 6:4 “And you, fathers, provoke not your children to anger: but bring them up in the discipline and correction of the Lord.”
This is what happens when people believe they can interpret the bible themselves. Here’s an orthodox Christian interpretation of this passage. http://www.ewtn.com/v/experts/showmessage_print.asp?number=293889&language=en
I hope i meet these people IRL so i can spit in their face 🙂
I think the biggest punishment would be a restricting hold, and thats only if they’ve become violent or completely hysterical. Taking toys away if improperly played with (throwing or hitting), time outs, or taking away positive stimuli (TV, being in a store, walking not being held or vise versa if they pref being held), is enough to teach a child how to act. I think the mistake a lot of people make is associating bad behavior with lack of obedience when in reality its a lack of consistency with parents restricting their children, ie buying a child a toy because they’re crying for it teaches the child to cry and throw tantrums to get what they want. Instead give them a toy if they ask politely for it and don’t whine about it if you say no etc. i also dont think you shouldn’t scream at a child unless what they’re doing is putting themselves or others in immediate danger (like walking into the road). Locking a child up, hitting, spanking, screaming at them and such has no place in parenting. Oh and if you let your child sit in its dirty diaper because you don’t want to clean it that’s not right.
This is absolutely horrible
In my country any sort of violence towards a child is outlawed and can land you in prison. We look at people who spank their children kind of the same as child molesters. Raising happy well adjusted kids without hurting them physical or psychological is not that difficult unless you’re a clueless moron without common sense.
I had to stop watching halfway through. Truly disgusting. I learned to raise and take care of children at a young age due to my parent’s divorce, and just imaging that this is happening to other children, sickens me. I can assure you, none of this is normal or okay. Beating your child and ‘training’ them, is not okay.
A guardians job, is to take care of and love their child, whilst preparing them for the real world and showing them responsibility. It’s to, shape them into their own person, letting them know and understand that sometimes life isn’t the way you want it to be, but to always try and make it better. A guardians job, is to be kind, responsible, and truthful.
These people are no parents, they are sadistic monsters.
the branch thing reminds me of stories my boyfriend tells me about when he was little. His parents made him pick out the branch and if it wasn’t fresh they went out or sent the other siblings out to pick a “better” branch. They’d go out to the road and spank them there.